I am happier than I've ever been. I'm not talking about manic, riotous happiness, the kind that burns hot and crashes hard. I'm talking about long range, slow waves of contentment.
This is the happiness that comes at the end of a day of work well done, or with the knowledge that those who love me are only minutes away.
I have made mistakes, but I've dusted myself off and learned from them.
I've learned the breadth of my powers and a scale of my worth.
I've learned that what I once thought was love was nothing of the sort. I've learned that there is no reason for me to suffer fools or take less than my share. I've learned that just because I don't fit in one arena, it doesn't mean that I don't have a home somewhere.
I've also learned that other people's problems don't have to become mine, and that sometimes, no matter how much I might want them to grow, no amount of sacrifice from me will speed the process.
This has set me free.
My heart is open now to positive energy only.
Eagerness to help at my own expense was an immature endeavor.
As I've paid my balance and let go of the dreams that had become liabilities, this altruism has changed to something a little closer to tolerance. When one compromises one's own values for the good of another, can it still be defined as good?
I've come to understand the difference between needy people and people in need, and that my energy means nothing if I throw it into a hole.
The one thing I am certain of is that I am exactly where I belong.